Evolution of Love
Love takes many different forms. When I was little my idea of love was a mermaid living under the sea who was in love with a hunk called Prince Eric. When I was a teenager love was holding my breath for a text message from a boy I liked and awkward first kisses. As a young adult, love was a pash at Big Mouth on Acland Street and going home with a dirty kebab at the end of the night. As an adult love was romantic weekends away and lazy Sunday mornings spent in bed.
Now my idea of true love is someone who will sterilize the bottles and add movies to my Netflix ‘must watch’ account that he thinks I’ll like. True love is encouraging me to go out to buy pads by myself without the baby and not calling to check where I am because he knows I’m hiding in the car drinking a Slurpee and listening to Notorious BIG at full volume. Love is rubbing my back softly and telling me I’m doing a great job, even when the house looks like a footy team had preseason training in the living room and its 7pm and dinner is still accidentally frozen.
This kind of love might sound a bit strange Rosie, especially as you grow up and search for a love of your own, but I have to say this is the greatest love I’ve ever known. It is ugly, honest, tired and raw but gee whizz, if someone is thinking about how they can make your day better, you are one of the lucky ones. Your Dad does this for me every day.
Growing up I remember Grandma Helen said to me, “Darling, marry your best friend and the one who makes you laugh every day. Sex is important, but can’t be everything”. I never really understood why this was important until you were born. If your Dad and I weren’t laughing every day through this INSANE baby period, we may not have ever survived.
Rosie, I hope I am with you when you develop your first crush, I hope I am there to hear about your first kiss and be there for your first heartbreak. And don’t you worry, when that heartbreak comes, and it will, I will also be there with a bat to break their legs.
Now, let’s talk about your Dad. Your father and I fell in love from the moment our eyes locked from across a crowded room. JUST KIDDING, we met on the internet. The stuff of real romance. When your Dad and I started talking, I was right in the thick of a series of very poor choices until that fateful day that your Dad clicked on my profile. After talking a little on the phone and verifying that he wasn’t a murderer from some mutual friends, we organised our first date. We talked about what attracted us to each other’s profile and your Dads answer floored me. One of my profile pictures was from my beloved summer camp where I had two feet in their air, each with a different colour converse shoe on. He said I looked like an adventure.
I fell in love with your Dad pretty quickly, but I never believed in love at first sight until I saw your Dad hold you for the first time.
Your Dad is the man who wakes up every morning with the goal to make our lives better. He re-cooks dinner after I’ve burnt it, he fills up my petrol when I’ve had a hard week and reminds me of the kind of mother I am when I feel like I’m letting you down.
Your Dad fell in love with the things I liked the most about myself and that’s the love to look for Rosie. Love should make you feel like the best version of yourself. Even when you haven’t showered in days, your hair is white with dry shampoo and you’re covered in baby vom. It’s easy to love someone who’s clean and care free, loving a moody new mother takes someone with a good heart and a strong stomach.
Marriage is definitely different after babies, but this isn’t a bad thing. Our priorities have shifted and our time is precious. My plan is to work out the best way to love you, love your dad and leave some room to still love myself, but we will work it out together.
I wish you a life full of love. Whatever that looks like for you. We don’t care who it’s with as long as they love you for exactly who you are.
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